Missing in Auckland, Snack-Free, Homer Simpson
It’s almost the end of March and a very snowy winter back in many parts of the United States, including Seattle, where Alicia and I used to live before we started our world tour. Snow, the cold white stuff that Frosty the Snowman is made of, is one thing Auckland, NZ doesn’t have. The weather is mild all year round and precipitation comes mostly in the form of rain. “Right as rain,” is what Kiwis say when something is perfect. It’s still summer (your winter in the U.S.) here, and it’s been delightfully sunny and right as rain weather-wise.
New Zealand Summer!
Besides the lack of snow, ice, frozen slushy-like floods in places like Fargo, ND, and bone-chilling temperatures, there are other things that are non-existent in this part of New Zealand, and I thought I’d talk about some of those missing bit and pieces this week in our newsletter. Some of it I can do without, like the cold weather; others I wish I had here in North Island.
Seattle Winter!
What’s lacking in New Zealand makes us pine occasionally for the United States, but it distinguishes what the differences are between the two countries. It allows us to wake up each day and realize that yes, in fact, we are living in a uniquely fascinating place, and far from any home we’ve ever known. I recommend moving to another country for anyone who’s interested in stepping out of the box that their daily life has become.
It’s not necessarily a bad thing that I can’t buy a bag of Doritos in the supermarkets here, but every time I travel down the snack food aisle at Foodtown or New World Market, it’s apparent that Doritos and a variety of other American-brand snack foods (Tim’s Cascade potato chips, Planters peanuts, Gardetto snacks) I love, are absent in the marketplace here in Auckland. Instead, there’s a plethora of penguins parading on packages of Bluebird potato chips. And they even have their own TV commercials, one where the barter for ice with their chips: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xeJ9OOVnW7Q&feature=related. Maybe New Zealanders just don’t like Doritos, produced by Frito Lay, as well as Lay’s potato chips and Hot Cheetos? I know I miss munching on them. Or it might just be an executive decision by Frito Lay, which in 2006 purchased Bluebird Foods, Ltd., the largest manufacturer of chips and snacks in New Zealand. It’s all good, as Alicia is trying to change me from Junk Food Joe to Fresh Fruit/Vegi-Man! I know Dr. Sanchez would be very happy if she succeeds.
Fresh Vegies and Fruit - Not junk food!
Other food products like Klondike Bars http://www.icecreamusa.com/klondike/ aren’t in New Zealand supermarkets. What I’d give for a Klondike Bar right now! I hear they have new flavors, like Reeses Peanut Butter Cup and Oreo Cookie. There’s no Double Stuf Oreo cookies on the shelves here either. Nabisco doesn’t have any of their cookie products in stores here. Absent are the Keebler elves. Consequently, I’ve been deprived of dunking my favorite cookies!
I must admit I’m getting a bit squirrelly not having my favorite junk food here, but there is a benefit from it; I’m eating less of it and not ingesting salt and empty calories.
Speaking of squirrelly, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squirrel , there aren’t any squirrels here in Auckland. Lots of birds chirp happily in the trees, including the Tui bird http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sh_Ly4ewgCM&NR=1 , with its very distinctive sounds, but no squirrels! They are strangely absent. Maybe New Zealand needs to import gray squirrels from England, where they outnumber the diminishing red squirrels and are making Brits very unhappy. In their “Save our Squirrels” campaign, the Brits have a slogan, “Save a red, eat a gray.” It promotes the eating of wild gray squirrels as a low fat meat alternative and a way to help increase the red squirrel population.
New Zealand Tui bird - sings loudly especially in the early morning hours!
I’ll stick with hamburger thank you, but I can’t find a good hamburger here in Auckland, a city full of tasty Asian foods. Alicia and I have been to quite a few hamburger places, and found the hamburgers lacking in some ways. We haven’t experienced the White Lady http://portlandhamburgers.blogspot.com/2008/11/new-zealand-white-lady-auckland.html yet and so our search for the perfect hamburger continues. We’ll keep you posted.
One of my favorite hamburger toppings back stateside is cheddar cheese, the sharper the better. You won’t find sharp cheddar cheese here in Auckland. In fact, most of the cheese we tasted here so far is quite bland, other than the Brie cheese. Alicia finds that savory.
Kiwis, who seem to like their cheese just fine, also like to use sexy models in their TV advertisements, but you won’t be seeing this Burger King commercial in New Zealand http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FcTWwXyt_Rs anytime soon, as it’s been banned there. Car commercials aren’t like they are in the U.S. When was the last time you saw a toddler driving down the road? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_JgD81GiAE .
You won’t see the tame drinking responsibly or designated driver ads you see in the U.S. There’s something more dramatic in New Zealand’s alcohol TV commercials. In their public service announcements (PSA’s) http://www.clipaday.com/videos/new-zealand-alcohol-psa their slogan is: It’s not the drinking; it’s how we’re drinking. They’re urging the public to watch how much they are drinking because the alcohol content is higher here down under. One beer has 9 percent alcohol, considerably more than in the U.S. or any other country we’ve been too, including Venezuela, which has the lowest alcohol content.
Local billboard ad for a bar!
Missing in New Zealand is streamlined governmental processes. Now, I know Americans probably think that they’ve faced bureaucracy at one time or another in their home state, but from what Alicia and I have experienced so far here, trying to get teacher registrations and work permits, New Zealand takes the cake. Even more than Costa Rica, which was extremely difficult to get any kind of licensing approved within a reasonable amount of time. There is nothing expeditious about the processing of paperwork here in New Zealand. We’ve been at it for almost six months now and there’s still no end in sight.
You’ll have to wait ‘til hell freezes over to get free internet in this part of the world. Every time you get on the internet, even at the Wi-Fi cafes, where one would assume you can get free access to internet, you have to pay for a cup of coffee first. Then you only get up to an hour of internet. Here in New Zealand internet users pay by the megabyte even at home and the bill can be astronomical.
Though they do have a Dunkin’ Donuts in Auckland, I find the variety of donuts small and stale. I used to be a big Dunkin’ Donuts fan. But now I’ve dumped Dunkin’ Donuts like an old girlfriend. Sadly, New Zealand doesn’t really do donuts, so I’m donut-free for now. I advise Homer Simpson to bring his own supply of donuts when he visits New Zealand.
Auckland's Dunkin Donuts.
They don’t have the ubiquitous Starbucks on every corner like in the U.S. There are a few scattered around the city, but Esquires Coffee Houses seems to be the premier coffee place, along with other competitors for my caffeine fix, including java joints like Atomic Café, Orb Coffee, or Roasted Addiqtion Coffee Dealers.
Coffee lovers Addiqtion!
There are some unique street signs and many intersections are without stop signs, so walker/runner beware. Drivers have the right of way here, even when you, the pedestrian, are in the intersection. I almost got run down while running one day. The driver, who screeched to a halt, was mad and wanted me to rack off (go away). He yelled, “Mate, get on the footpath.” Translated, it means “Pal, get on the sidewalk.” I tried to argue with him nicely, explaining how in America pedestrians have the right of way when in any intersection. He looked at me like I was from Mars. Besides driving on the other side of the road here in New Zealand, drivers also seem to have a different view on who has the right of way in an intersection. Car first; pedestrian second, unless you’re in a marked crosswalk. Even then walker be careful.
Though there are lots of things that are different between our two countries, I’m not getting my knickers in a twist (upset). Thankfully we share the same language; well almost! There are times when I’m hard pressed to understand the local diction/dialect, especially when it’s spoken too fast. (There’ll be a future newsletter on this!) When that happens, I turn to Pink Monkey and he translates for me.
Traffic in Auckland!
Some Kiwis stop for coffee but not for pedestrians.
Next week, we take a look at Auckland’s unique architecture. Join us for a house tour, won’t you?
Written by Joseph A. Haviland
Edited by Alicia Frank Haviland
Copyright 2009
Adventures Abroad 